After almost a year of trying to get pregnant we went to our GP because I felt that something must be wrong. I’d read all the statistics about how long it can take, but when your friends and family seem to be getting pregnant by just looking at their partner it’s hard to believe the statistics. They said it was too early to refer me for tests, but that they would check Russell’s sperm. After a tense couple of days Russell rang for the results and they weren’t what we’d hoped for. He hadn’t understood all the numbers and terminology exactly but they had said one of the criteria they measure was below the normal range. This shocked us both and much as I tried to re-assure him everything would be OK it’s very difficult. I persuaded him to go back to the GP a couple of weeks later so they could properly explain the results and it turned out not to be as bad as we had feared. Also when Russell repeated the test 3 months later the results were all within the normal range.
The best thing to come out of this visit to the GP was that because of Russell’s results it was likely to take us longer to get pregnant so they agreed to refer me for tests after just a year. So a month later I was at the hospital to see a consultant. This was a horrible appointment as I’d had to go on my own because Russell was ill and I felt they were looking at me like I was wasting there time because I was there so soon. They examined me, gave me a stack of forms for blood tests, said I would receive letters for appointments for the tests needed and said they would see me again in 3 months.
It was about a month before the ultrasound and the results of that were that I had one polycystic ovary. These are not nice words to hear when you are trying to get pregnant and the nurse couldn’t explain what this meant for our chances or even how it was possible. I went straight to my GP the next day and they told me it wasn’t possible to have one polycystic ovary and that I didn’t have any of the other symptoms. So I picked myself up again and hoped the next test would be better news.
3 weeks later I went for the test if my fallopian tubes were blocked. The test was very painful and they weren’t able to complete it as they said I had a polyp at the entrance to my uterus. The consultant couldn’t get out of the room fast enough and the nurse ended up explaining what this meant. I was horrified at the prospect of needing an operation and had no idea how long it would all take.
It was at this stage that we met Joe (Mr Onwude) it was such a relief to meet someone who was so confident that the problems we had could be overcome. We saw him for the first appointment on Saturday and on the Tuesday I had a laparoscopy to remove the polyp and to check my tubes. It turned out there was no polyp, but that my tubes were blocked. Fortunately Joe was able to fix that and it was such a relief to know that after months of feeling that something was wrong I had been right and it had been corrected.
After the operation Joe prescribed me clomid as my periods had been a little irregular. Five months of clomid was a real roller coaster ride, as it really focuses everything on what time of the month it is and what you should be doing. It also seemed to make the disappointment of getting my period each month even worse. You have to keep telling yourself “maybe next month”, but that gets harder to believe each time.
During this time Joe told us about Tamsin and the service she offers. When IVF was first mentioned I was horrified, I didn’t feel like we had reached the stage where we needed that degree of fertility treatment. When I first rang Tamsin it was purely for counselling because I was having such a hard time dealing with the disappointments each month. Having the chance to explain everything that had happened to me and hearing that it was no surprise I was so upset was very reassuring. Having a weekly session also helped to break my focus from the next month, down to the next week. As the sessions progressed the focus moved from what had happened to what was happening and then to what next.
It was a hard decision for us to go for IVF treatment. I think the biggest hurdle for me was realising that we weren’t doing it because we couldn’t get pregnant naturally, but because we didn’t know and that this was a way of giving ourselves the best possible chance. We had been trying for just over 18 months at the time and we knew that if we didn’t try this now and I didn’t get pregnant naturally we would regret it.
One of the best things about the treatment for us was how quickly it could be started. Within a week of our final decision to have treatment I had started the nasal spray. As the treatment progressed from nasal spray to injections the side effects really kicked in. Hot flushes, headaches and the overwhelming urge to cry for no apparent reason. These symptoms were eased by the injections and for me it felt more like I was doing this for a reason, the treatment took on a momentum of it’s own at this point. I did find the treatment stressful, you just have to keep telling yourself this is normal and it means that the drugs are doing what they are supposed to.
We had our final appointment with Joe 2 days before we flew to Sweden. This was a scan to count the follicles and a chance to ask our final questions and to collect the final parts of the medication. We were really pleased to have 12 follicles, only 2 of which would probably not be big enough by egg collection day. We spoke to both Joe and Tamsin on Sunday to make sure we were all set to go the next day.
We travelled on the Monday and met Maria at the hospital in the evening to have the final injection. This worked really well as we got to meet Maria and see the clinic when it was quiet and before having any treatment. It also meant we could go and enjoy ourselves on Tuesday and there were no worries about delayed flights.
So early on Wednesday morning we returned to the clinic for the egg retrieval and sperm collection. There were 7 other couples there that day, but it didn’t feel like we were being rushed through and Maria was there to prepare us and explain what was going to happen in English. Russell made his contribution first and then we were both taken to the room to meet Stefan and have my eggs removed. I was a bit nervous about how painful this would be, but it didn’t take long and we were able to see exactly what was going on the scanner screen, which was amazing.
We found out they had collected 9 eggs before we left which was about what we were expecting. On Thursday morning Maria called to say that 6 eggs had fertilised. I was so relieved because I knew 6 meant we could wait until Monday to have them put back and that would give us a better chance of success.
We were pretty positive when we arrived on Monday afternoon as we’d kept busy over the weekend. We were expecting a sit down chat with Urban to discuss how many there were and how many we wanted put back, but it wasn’t really like that. We stood in the same room where they had collected the eggs and he told us only 2 were good enough and the others had stopped growing. I think we were a little disappointed there weren’t more, but after the chat we’d had with Maria when we first arrived we had them both put back. We both felt that we needed to go home knowing that even if it didn’t work we had given ourselves the best possible chance, and if we’d only had one put back we wouldn’t have done that. Whilst the staff would be less happy to do that for a Swedish couple they understand that our route to getting to them is much more difficult and they were expecting us to ask for two.
Having them put back was similar but less painful than a smear test, and we were able to see two little white spots on the scanner screen, which was the liquid they had been returned in. I think I had been worried about how much responsibility I would feel once I had them back, but Urban assured us they couldn’t just fall out and he seemed positive about our chances. We saw Maria again afterwards for some final advice about looking after myself over the next couple of weeks and then it was hugs and goodbyes and before we knew it we were on our way home.
So having prepared myself for the 2 weeks of waiting to be the most difficult time, I actually found it one of the easier parts of the treatment. I had my list of things to do to keep myself busy and I barely managed to do any of them. This was mostly due to feeling very tired, nauseous and uncomfortable. After 10 days back home and still feeling ill and exhausted we contacted Joe to check this was normal. I had expected to feel better not worse by this stage. We saw him that day his first question was do you want a blood test to find out if you are pregnant. He seemed happy that all my symptoms were a good sign and we decided to have the blood test.
It was that afternoon that the difficulty of waiting kicked in, and I spent the whole afternoon trying to convince my self that I couldn’t be imagining feeling this ill. I wanted to wait until Russell got home to get the results, so we would be together if it was bad news. As it turned out I was very glad I’d waited for him, but because it meant I got to see how excited he was when we got the news the test was positive and I was pregnant. Russell was on the phone for ages before he handed it over for me to speak to Joe. That was because my hormone levels were high and Joe was explaining this might mean it was twins. We now have another 2 weeks of waiting to find out how many, but having waited so long it’s a nice thing to be waiting for.
