I am 45 years old and have been with my partner Ian for 16 years. We never used contraception but we were not particularly bothered about becoming parents. One day in August last year I discovered that I was pregnant. Totally shocked I showed Ian the 4, yes 4, positive pregnancy tests. Wow, both of us, after the initial shock, were delighted, we kept looking at each other and laughing, In short we were over the moon.
At 9 weeks pregnant I miscarried, from a couple who had jogged along not thinking about pregnancy or babies we were now transformed into two people who longed for a child. Joe Onwude, my gynaecologist, recommended that we try a course of Clomid, so we did, but to no avail. After a year I asked Joe what else we could try and he suggested we look at I.V.F and introduced me to Tamsin.
We had one problem, if we decided to go ahead with I.V.F, Sweden, who Tamsin deals with, only treat ladies up to the age of 43 and I was 45. Undaunted both Joe and Tamsin threw themselves into finding someone who would help. Not just anyone but someone who would come highly recommended.
"Denmark" Joe said "The Dr there is an expert in this field and will treat ladies up to their 46th birthday" and so with 6 weeks until my 46th birthday the adventure began.
Blood tests, sperm tests, nasal sprays, injections, scans, most of the next few weeks seemed to be spent on the A12 going to or from one of Joe's clinics. Ian became a dab hand at injections and by the time the final "big" injection was due and needed to be administered at 8.30 in the evening Ian had no hesitation " of course I can do that" and did !
Off to Denmark, what fabulous people, calm, professional and kind. Now came Ian's first and only panic attack, "what if I can't produce on demand?" Needless to say he did and our eggs were harvested and fertilised with little discomfort. A nervous 48 hrs later they implanted two lovely eggs, then home.
Now for me, the worst bit of the whole thing, two weeks waiting, are we, aren’t we, just the most stressful time. 14 days after implantation a blood test tells us if we are pregnant or not, unfortunately we are not. We have wept and are sad, but I feel the need to write of our experience.
Although the outcome for us was negative the experience has been a very positive one. As a couple we have grown, our experiences through this treatment have brought us a strength and closeness like no other we have known. Joe Onwude is an exceptional man, his quiet confident manner, his care, kindness and support together with Tamsins invaluable first hand knowledge has left us with a feeling of total care, and we thank them both from the bottom of our hearts.
